COLUMBUS, IN—According to sources close to the Maclean family, the couple showed up to a hang-out/dinner/maybe-board-games-if-things-get-wild event right on time, instead of ten minutes late like normal human beings.
"Who the heck is that?" a confused Bridget Werner asked her husband Ted as the doorbell rang at 5:00 on the dot. "It can't be... no... they wouldn't..."
She peaked out through the blinds, and sure enough, to her horror, the Macleans were right outside the door, smiling and ready to party.
"What's wrong with these people?" Ted muttered. "I'm not even wearing pants yet. Honey, have you seen my pants?"
"Upstairs, three paces to the right of the landing, hanging from the cupboard door handle," she muttered absentmindedly.
She opened the door and greeted the insane psychopaths who showed up to the event on time. "Heee-eeeey!" she said. The absolute basket cases then both gave her a full-body hug despite her clearly reaching out for a handshake.
At publishing time, the total psychos had lugged in a selection of over twelve board games to pick from, each of which takes around three hours to play.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
