OTTAWA—Justin Trudeau has faced heavy criticism this week after allowing a strain of Freedom to spread through the Great White North. The Canadian Prime Minister addressed the nation on Tuesday to calm the fears of his adoring constituents, informing them he needed just two weeks to slow the spread of "world-annihilating freedom."
"We have survived COVID-19 thanks to my leadership," said Trudeau in a prepared statement. "Now, I'm calling on all Canadians to hang in there a little longer as we face this new threat of Canadians thinking they should be allowed to have liberty. I just need two weeks to slow the spread of the virulent freedom surging through our populace."
Trudeau then signed an executive order to forcibly lock everyone in their homes for two weeks. Everyone will be required to wear enough masks to completely muffle the sounds of their voices so that freedom can't spread from person to person.
Chants of "two weeks to slow the spread" rang out through the House of Commons and Trudeau was hoisted upon the shoulders of two elderly government officials as applause filled the chamber.
A survey conducted this morning reveals 78% of Canadians disapprove of Trudeau's messaging but figure he knows what he's doing. Unfortunately, sources on the ground say freedom is still spreading through unfettered "honks."
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
