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4D Chess: U.S.-Mexico Border Disguised As Ukrainian Border So Democrats Will Defend It

EL PASO, TX—In a last-ditch effort to get Democrats to start caring about border security, the Texas government has disguised their southern border as the border between Ukraine and Russia.

"Oh please, won't someone please help us?" said Texas Governor Greg Abbot while hoisting blue and yellow flags all along the border fence. "Putin's forces have encircled us from the south and are entering our country uninhibited!"

Having fallen for the clever ruse, WEF Chairman Klaus Schwab called his pal George Soros and ordered him to assemble the dark united forces of media, corporations, and the Illuminati and unite the world in solidarity over the urgency of protecting the southern border. Soon everyone was changing their social media profile pictures and holding candlelight vigils to raise awareness for border security.

"WE MUST PROTECT THE SOUTHERN BORDER! WE MUST PROTECT THE SOUTHERN BORDER!" said the media, Hollywood, every world power, every late-night talk show host, and David French—all in perfect robotic unison.

Texans are hoping global powers can help them gain a little border security before everyone figures out they've been tricked.

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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