NEW YORK, NY—Adding to the growing chorus of entertainers and other world leaders retaliating against Russia for aggression against Ukraine, comedian Jerry Seinfeld has threatened to pull his cinematic magnum opus Bee Movie from all Russian streaming services.
"I mean really—what's the deal with these Russians?" said Seinfeld to reporters "Dropping in on their neighbor Ukraine uninvited? Didn't they learn their lesson from every 80's movie ever made? You know, I hate it when people drop in uninvited. To be fair, I also hate it when they drop in invited. I mean seriously, I'm not interested in seeing you. Just don't drop in! GO AWAY!"
The gathered reporters all laughed at Seinfeld's classic Seinfeld humor.
"Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah—if the Russians can't play nice, they don't get Bee Movie. Sorry Russians, learn to play nice."
Upon hearing the news, President Vladimir Putin immediately halted his advancing forces and sent emissaries to the U.S. to negotiate the re-release of Bee Movie. "This is most popular movie in all of Russia," said a frustrated Putin. "It is crowning comedic achievement of the West, and we cannot go one more day without Barr B. Benson's hilarious one-liners and observational humor! PLEASE! WE'LL DO ANYTHING!"
Sources say Putin's emissaries are close to reaching an agreement with Seinfeld and Dreamworks Entertainment. They have been told that if Russia doesn't withdraw all its forces, they will also be blocked from watching Bee Movie 2 when it comes out next year.
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