As everyone knows, a very expensive college degree that will take decades of back-breaking work to pay off is essential if you want to be prepared for life's struggles-- including World War III!
Take a gander at these eight college courses that will better prepare you for life in the trenches:
1) Siberian Gender Studies: Know your enemy! They will not do you the courtesy of announcing their pronouns!
2) Intro to Shakespeare: If you're gonna die anyway, you may as well learn something beautiful first.
3) Atheism 101: They say there are no atheists in foxholes. Pshaw! Let's fix that.
4) Call of Duty In Your Dorm Room: Not technically a class, but you'll learn more here than anywhere else--especially how to properly pay respects to your fallen comrades.
5) Bunker Construction: An excellent minor for the aspiring architect.
6) Model UN: Learn to construct strongly worded notes that evil regimes will laugh at and throw in the trash!
7) Dismantling Heteronormative Christian Patriarchy In Russia And Beyond: No point in defending Ukraine if we can't take the opportunity to Build Back Better™.
8) Nuclear Physics: So you can explain exactly what's happening when your face is melting.
Remember, even if you die, you can serve a great purpose by validating your professor's political opinions as you attack enemy forces with progressive zeal. We're all in this together!
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
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