As everyone knows, a very expensive college degree that will take decades of back-breaking work to pay off is essential if you want to be prepared for life's struggles-- including World War III!
Take a gander at these eight college courses that will better prepare you for life in the trenches:
1) Siberian Gender Studies: Know your enemy! They will not do you the courtesy of announcing their pronouns!
2) Intro to Shakespeare: If you're gonna die anyway, you may as well learn something beautiful first.
3) Atheism 101: They say there are no atheists in foxholes. Pshaw! Let's fix that.
4) Call of Duty In Your Dorm Room: Not technically a class, but you'll learn more here than anywhere else--especially how to properly pay respects to your fallen comrades.
5) Bunker Construction: An excellent minor for the aspiring architect.
6) Model UN: Learn to construct strongly worded notes that evil regimes will laugh at and throw in the trash!
7) Dismantling Heteronormative Christian Patriarchy In Russia And Beyond: No point in defending Ukraine if we can't take the opportunity to Build Back Better™.
8) Nuclear Physics: So you can explain exactly what's happening when your face is melting.
Remember, even if you die, you can serve a great purpose by validating your professor's political opinions as you attack enemy forces with progressive zeal. We're all in this together!
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
