The Babylon Bee
Culture • News • Comedy
Fake news you can trust.
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
Wokeness Strikes Again: Nintendo Just Confirmed That In 'Breath Of The Wild 2' Zelda Will Be A Girl

HERE WE GO AGAIN.

We all thought Nintendo was safe from all the wokeness going around -- but no longer. In a Nintendo Direct presentation today, the company confirmed that in Breath of the Wild 2, Zelda will be a girl.

So ridiculous. But that's just the clown world we're living in. They're coming for all our strong male heroes. Why can't they just write a strong female character instead of turning all our favorite male heroes into women?

Every boy grew up wanting to be Zelda -- to take hold of the Master Sword, don his green cap and boots, and go off to do battle against Ganon and save the princess. Now, boys don't have that hero to look up to anymore, because WOKE NINTENDO is GENDER-SWAPPING him into a girl.

It doesn't even make sense!!!! Girls don't have the upper body strength to break into a stranger's home and break all their pots. UGH.

You think THIS is bad? Well, at the end of the presentation, they also announced that Samus Aran will be rebooted as a chick in Metroid Prime 4.

I'm done with Nintendo, and you should be too. Enough is enough!!!

post photo preview
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
What else you may like…
Videos
Posts
🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
March 10, 2026

State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.

"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025

February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals