U.S.—Mainstream media outlets are reporting this week that gas prices have always exceeded $7.00 a gallon and that we've always been at war with Russia. Also, there's never been such a thing as COVID.
CNN's Anderson Cooper was fact-checked by Snopes after his nightly broadcast. He was given a rating of "Entirely True."
"Anderson Cooper, and all who agree with him, are correct," Snopes confirmed. "He has never reported an outright lie or spread misinformation."
Nightly News With Lester Holt changed its name to "Facts w/ Les" and is just a constant list of things for loyal citizens to be aware of.
"Trans surgery for kids is good. There is no such thing as a slippery slope. We have been at war with Russia since time began. Jussie Smollet is innocent and everyone loves Stacey Abrams," said Holt.
He then turned to camera 2. "Breaking news, America has never existed. You live in China. Uyghurs aren't real."
PolitiFact rated Lester Holt's program as "Totes True."
At publishing time, The Babylon Bee was informed everything was fine. MSNBC, ABC, CNN, and Fox News never existed. And neither do we. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Party is always right.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
