U.S.—Mainstream media outlets are reporting this week that gas prices have always exceeded $7.00 a gallon and that we've always been at war with Russia. Also, there's never been such a thing as COVID.
CNN's Anderson Cooper was fact-checked by Snopes after his nightly broadcast. He was given a rating of "Entirely True."
"Anderson Cooper, and all who agree with him, are correct," Snopes confirmed. "He has never reported an outright lie or spread misinformation."
Nightly News With Lester Holt changed its name to "Facts w/ Les" and is just a constant list of things for loyal citizens to be aware of.
"Trans surgery for kids is good. There is no such thing as a slippery slope. We have been at war with Russia since time began. Jussie Smollet is innocent and everyone loves Stacey Abrams," said Holt.
He then turned to camera 2. "Breaking news, America has never existed. You live in China. Uyghurs aren't real."
PolitiFact rated Lester Holt's program as "Totes True."
At publishing time, The Babylon Bee was informed everything was fine. MSNBC, ABC, CNN, and Fox News never existed. And neither do we. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Party is always right.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
