U.S.—Twitter dealt a devastating blow to The Babylon Bee yesterday after banning them from telling transgender jokes, which is one of the only two jokes they know.
"Guys, what are we going to do?!" cried Editor-in-Chief Kyle Mann while pacing back and forth. "Those 'man-identifies-as' jokes represent almost all our material! We're finished! FINISHED, I tell you!"
The assembled writing team collectively racked their brains to try and come up with a new joke, but could only come up with jokes about youth pastors and potluck dinners, which is already their first joke.
"Come on guys, THINK!" said the Bee's Managing Editor Griswold Dingleberry. "There's gotta be something we can joke about! Has anyone ever made fun of airline food? What if we tell a joke about a rabbi and a priest walking into a bar? Has that been done?"
"I know, I know!" said another writer. "What if we had a man identify as an... attack helicopter? Darnit, that's the same joke again!"
Experts warn that unless they come up with a new joke, The Babylon Bee could potentially lose its status as the all-time king of marginally acceptable satire.
Leadership at the company warned their workers that if they don't come up with a new joke soon, they may have to bring back founder Adam Ford to turn things around.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
