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Taliban Spokesman Finally Banned From Twitter After Sharing Babylon Bee Headline

KABUL—Taliban spokesperson Mohammad Naeem Warda has finally been banned from Twitter this week after carelessly sharing a satirical headline from The Babylon Bee.

"Wallahi, I just thought the joke was funny," said the bloodthirsty terrorist PR rep. "A man who thinks he's a woman? Whoever heard of such a thing? Those Babylon Bee people are so fun and crazy, even though they're infidels who must die a painful death by our hands."

Twitter has said they will not unlock Warda's account until he deletes the hateful, bigoted material. Once he does, he will be able to join President Putin, Antifa terrorists, the CCP, and violent pornographers in using Twitter freely.

"Twitter has a clear policy against expressing any opinion that runs contrary to our preferred gender ideology," said one Twitter spokesperson as a group of activists stood menacingly behind him with billy clubs. "Also, the trans activists said they'd burn our building down if we don't comply with their agenda so we don't really have a choice."

Warda has apologized for the irresponsible tweet and has promised to stick to promoting the slavery and subjugation of women according to Sharia Law in the future.

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

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February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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