BABYLON—According to sources not yet thrown into the fiery furnace, The Babylon Bee was taken by Twitter and thrown into a fiery furnace after refusing to worship the massive, gold-trimmed pride flag erected by the great Queen Nebujacknezzar (they/them).
“All of Twitter’s users have been informed of the terms and conditions that clearly allow us to throw them in a fiery furnace if they don't agree with our radical gender theories,” said the royal policy intern, Juniper (ze/zer/zoo). “In refusing to be an ally and bow down to this gorgeous, courageous flag, The Babylon Bee’s getting tossed into the fiery furnace. Toodles!”
Reports confirm that Twitter was pretty wroth and full of fury at The Babylon Bee, and therefore heated the furnace to temperatures far exceeding the industry standard for people-burning furnaces.
At publishing time, eyewitness accounts report that The Babylon Bee was thrown into the fiery furnace.
BREAKING UPDATE: The Babylon Bee has been seen by multiple witnesses standing within the scorching furnace, seemingly unscathed and whipping out a flurry of leftist-owning headlines.
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