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Dad's Parenting Done For The Day After Yelling ‘Listen To Your Mother’ At The Kids

TULSA, OK—Local dad Jasper McTubbins called it a day as far as parenting responsibilities were concerned after he paused for a moment from polishing his golf clubs in the garage so he could yell, “Listen to your mother!” at the kids.

“Thanks, dear,” replied his wife, Angela, as she simultaneously cooked a three-course meal, helped the twins with their algebra, bathed the toddler, and practiced hymns on the piano in preparation for Sunday’s church service. “Any chance you got the lawnmower working out there?”

“Um, ya, getting there,” said Jasper as he stared down the graphite shaft of his pitching wedge, hoping to see it bent so he could explain to his buddies why his short game was off lately.

At publishing time, Jasper went the extra mile by yelling "listen to your mother!" again, except a little louder this time.

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion

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https://babylonbee.com/news/ufo-files-reveal-aliens-here-and-already-defrauded-minnesota-for-20-billion

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Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws

"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-effort-to-retake-congress-once-again-thwarted-by-existence-of-laws

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Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote

"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."

https://babylonbee.com/news/virginia-considering-new-measure-that-just-makes-it-illegal-for-republicans-to-vote

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