WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Barack Obama has returned to the White House after growing tired of working remotely. The President said it was time to work in the Oval Office once again, after over a year of being the president from his Martha's Vineyard estate.
"Normally, a President can only hold office for 2 terms," said Barack Obama to other elites gathered at the White House. "But we found this little loophole where you just take a 3rd term anyway by working online."
According to sources, Obama explained that working from home was fun for a while, but he just needed to get back in the office and meet face to face again. He also added that it just wasn't the same not being in the limelight all the time.
"It's been quite the experience so far. You'd be surprised how easy it is to ruin—erm run a country over Teams or Zoom." said President Obama. "The best part is no matter how bad things get—I just blame Kamala and Joe!"
At publishing time, President Obama was found in the situation room launching drone strikes on Middle Eastern civilians. He said he "missed seeing the strikes on the big screen."
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
The show's episode featured a hard-hitting investigation into the positive results of the strict anti-gun initiatives enacted by Emperor Palpatine and his governing regime. According to the program's journalists, it is not unreasonable to push for similar policies in the United States.
https://babylonbee.com/news/60-minutes-praises-the-galactic-empires-gun-control-policies
"We know what our audience wants," said SNL executive producer Lorne Michaels. "Once we heard the tremendous ovation Luigi received when he was mentioned on last weeks show, we knew we had to bring him in to host. Viewers love seeing their heroes featured in prominent roles, and nothing is more prominent than hosting Saturday Night Live. We just hope he likes the jokes we write for him, because… well, you know."
https://babylonbee.com/news/luigi-mangione-to-host-next-weeks-episode-of-snl
"I am going — I mean, they are going to love this stuff," Timson said. "The belt-fed Nerf machine gun… the Lego tower of Barad-dûr… the full set of 6-inch Star Wars Black Series figures from A New Hope… so awesome. It will be so much fun to… um… watch them play with them. Yeah, that is it."
https://babylonbee.com/news/dad-cant-wait-to-play-with-the-toys-he-got-his-kids-for-christmas