WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Barack Obama has returned to the White House after growing tired of working remotely. The President said it was time to work in the Oval Office once again, after over a year of being the president from his Martha's Vineyard estate.
"Normally, a President can only hold office for 2 terms," said Barack Obama to other elites gathered at the White House. "But we found this little loophole where you just take a 3rd term anyway by working online."
According to sources, Obama explained that working from home was fun for a while, but he just needed to get back in the office and meet face to face again. He also added that it just wasn't the same not being in the limelight all the time.
"It's been quite the experience so far. You'd be surprised how easy it is to ruin—erm run a country over Teams or Zoom." said President Obama. "The best part is no matter how bad things get—I just blame Kamala and Joe!"
At publishing time, President Obama was found in the situation room launching drone strikes on Middle Eastern civilians. He said he "missed seeing the strikes on the big screen."
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"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."