ELKO, NV—Experiencing a moment of incredible grace and patience, local husband Clarence McTwombly sat his wife down and gently showed her how it was actually possible to close the 8,537 unused browser tabs on her mobile phone.
“See honey, that 'X' in the upper right corner allows you to close that tab you are no longer using,” said Clarence to his wife, Clarice, as she nodded along while not really listening because she saw a tab showing a swimsuit she had been looking at a few months ago, but was now probably ready to buy. “All you need to do is is tap that 'X' with your finger, and it’s gone. Simple as an oil change.”
Showing some confusion, Clarice asked what on earth the purpose would be in closing any of the browser tabs, especially since she may need to pull up the content of any of those tabs at any time, because, really, you just never know.
With boundless love and longsuffering, Clarence answered her question by scrolling to some of her earlier browser tabs—a task that took over 40 minutes—and showed her that the 17 tabs related to finding coupons on baby formula may not be important anymore as their youngest child was now in college.
At publishing time, Clarice, also filled with overwhelming charity and patience, led her husband to the closet to show him how to throw away his 141 old, disintegrated t-shirts.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
