LOS ANGELES, CA—There aren't a ton of great teachers left in California, but there are definitely a few. Mr. Hammond of Carter Rock Elementary School in the suburbs of Los Angeles hated seeing his kids masked up every day, so he came up with a genius plan: he rented out a decommissioned Boeing 737 and held class in there. Now, due to the inexplicable magical properties of SCIENCE, his students don't have to wear masks anymore.
"I'm no hero," the teacher told reporters. "I'm just doing what I would want any good teacher to do for me."
According to analysts, it's a foolproof plan.
"Yep, there's nothing we can really do about this," said his district's superintendent. "He's following the ever-changing science here, and for now, it's airtight. COVID no longer spreads in airplanes. Unless you're flying internationally. I think? I don't know. It's hard to keep track."
The students are enjoying the time learning in the tiny seats and many say the pretzels are "quite good and way better than our usual public school food."
At publishing time, authorities had confirmed that should the Biden administration win its appeal, the science will no longer allow for this loophole, and the students will be forced to be masked once again.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
