Hey, it's Mother's Day! That means it's time to start thinking about shopping for Mother's Day. But just because it's the actual holiday, like, right now, doesn't mean you can't still get the special mother in your life something super thoughtful and caring.
Here are 11 things you can grab for her at the gas station on the way home from church. Like, right now. Hurry.
$10 worth of lotto scratchers - Nothing says "I love you" like a chance at being a millionaire. Classy!
A six-pack of Natty Ice and a pack of mom's favorite smokes - Even classier!
For the big spender, get a gallon of gas - Not everyone can afford this one, but if you have the means, splurge a little. It'll mean the world to her.
A 5-hour energy shot - Actually better go with a six-pack to give mom enough energy to get through the week.
A bottle of windshield washer fluid - Every time mom cleans a bug's splatted guts off her windshield, she'll remember your thoughtfulness.
A hot dog/fountain soda combo - Both a hot dog AND a soda? Boy, do you love this woman, or what!
A pair of nice speakers a nice man in the parking lot is selling out of his trunk - Seems legit!
One of those giant teddy bears that absolutely doesn't scream "I forgot about Mother's Day until this very moment and am compensating with a gigantic teddy bear." - It doesn't scream that, at all.
A prepackaged egg salad sandwich that expired 2 weeks ago - The way to the heart is through the stomach!
Four Loko - So mom can go loco tonight!
Chick tract you found in the bathroom - For the shopper on a budget. What better gift can you give that special mom in your life than eternal life? Hopefully she'll do you a quick solid and accept Jesus as her Lord and Savior!
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
