With Elon Musk buying Twitter and committing to making it better, there has been much speculation about what he might purchase and restore next. The possibilities are endless!
Here are a few of our ideas for things Elon should buy and fix next:
Facebook: And bring back poking!
ESPN: Make it about sports again!
Apple Inc.: Then officially rename "pregnant man emoji" to "Bill Gates emoji."
The show Firefly: And announce 12 new seasons.
US Congress: Just launch it into the sun.
Read the rest: https://babylonbee.com/news/10-more-things-elon-musk-needs-to-buy-and-fix
Zach Snyder’s Justice League: Reinsert Superman’s mustache!
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Sad: With USAID Shut Down, This Ecuadorian Child May Never Know What Gender He Is
"Antonio will now forever be left to believe he is simply a boy. It is heartbreaking," said USAID volunteer Lana Thomas. "This poor child will never even know what bathroom to use now, since we never got to put on our skit on genderfluid bathroom choices. What a tragedy."Perhaps nature will reveal gender to us one day.
Liberals Outraged As Trump Says Men Can't Punch Women In The Face For Sport
"It is a sad day in America when men cannot punch women in the face," said ESPN executive James Pitaro. "We at ESPN are appalled that we cannot televise men kicking the crap out of women while we cheer. President Trump has gone too far."What am I supposed to do now when I get home late and dinner is cold?
Babylon Bee Announces $36,000/Month Pro Subscription For USAID-Funded Government Agencies
"At just $36,000 per month per government employee, we believe this subscription rivals anything Politico or any other publication has to offer," said Bee CEO Seth Dillon. "While the Bee has never been a recipient of USAID money, we are super open to anyone giving us $8 million. Plus, with 20% off purchases at the Bee Store, the membership practically pays for itself."This USAID membership includes a free trafficked child. Hurry while supplies last. There are only 350,000 in stock - 150,000 if you want a Guatemalan.
