"Religion is a crutch for weak minds," said Zander Penelope while puffing on his vape and looking up from his run-through of New Game +3 with a maxed-out Arcane build. "People keep themselves distracted by pathetic fantasy stories so they won't have to think about how meaningless their lives are."
According to sources, Mr. Penelope also has 1000+ hours in the Dark Souls series, a collection of My Little Pony figurines, and over 48,000 hours logged on PornHub. He hopes that his scathing criticism of religion will serve to wake up deluded minds so they can start living as free thinkers as he does.
Read the rest: https://babylonbee.com/news/religion-is-the-opiate-of-the-masses-says-man-who-has-logged-337-hours-in-elden-ring
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
