"For too long, citizens of the great state of Texas have been plagued by tedious stops at multiple stores to pick up their basics," Buc-ee Beaver said to the press in a campaign announcement. "And these stores don't even sell gallons of barbecue sauce and other Buc-ee's branded materials in a 67,000 square foot retail space!"
Read the rest: https://babylonbee.com/news/bucc-ee-beaver-announces-run-for-texas-governor/
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Sauron-Appointed Judge Rules Frodo Must Return Ring To Sauron
The One Ring, forged by the Dark Lord Sauron in the fires of Mount Doom, was stolen from his person by Isildur during the Battle of Dagorlad. Now legal experts say that terrible injustice is finally being made right.https://babylonbee.com/news/sauron-appointed-judge-rules-frodo-must-return-ring-to-sauron
Ailing McConnell Carried Into Senate By 6 Pallbearers
"We think the use of these mobility pallbearers is the perfect thing to help the Senator get around the capitol," McConnell staffer Bradley Meyers told the press. "He has been having a little bit of a tough time moving around and we are so excited to have found a solution that is both practical and sensible. Here he comes now!"https://babylonbee.com/news/ailing-mcconnell-carried-into-senate-by-6-pallbearers
Hamas Gets Biden-Appointed Judge To Overturn Trump’s Order To Release Hostages
"The President of the United States has no legal right to do anything, ever," said Judge Gregory Chandler. "The Constitution simply does not contain any provisions that allow the president to act in any way to do anything. I hereby declare President Trump's order for Hamas to release its hostages unconstitutional and void. Hamas may continue to keep innocent people captive and treat them however they choose without consequence. I have spoken!"
