A U.S. Army spokesperson admitted concern today after the recent drop in recruitment numbers, despite the unveiling of the new "America Is Racist, You Should Die For It" slogan.
Colonel Rip Skirtsteak said the Army will continue its push for diversity in hopes of drawing more new recruits. "It's just really hard to find recruits who hate this country as they should but are also willing to put their lives on the line to protect it," Skirtsteak said as he adjusted his rainbow flag lapel pin. "We may have to switch to Plan B, which is to offer free gender reassignment surgery for everyone who signs up."
Read the rest: https://babylonbee.com/news/army-not-sure-why-their-new-slogan-america-is-racist-you-should-die-for-it-isnt-getting-traction
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
