The Babylon Bee
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The Babylon Bee@thebabylonbee
July 29, 2022
White House Reassures America That Biden Is Doing Better: Slept Well, Ate His Breakfast, Had A Full Diaper
"Joe is doing very well," said Jha. "He ate all his applesauce, his graham crackers, and even his carrot sticks! And then he had three really good, healthy bowel movements. Completely filled his diaper. Then he took it off and showed me how full it was. And it was full. That's a great sign of a healthy president if I ever saw one!"
Read the rest: https://babylonbee.com/news/white-house-reassures-america-that-biden-is-doing-better-slept-well-ate-his-breakfast-had-a-full-diaper
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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
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Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
