oel Osteen took the Apostle Paul to task on Sunday, calling out his awful habit of negative self-talk and overly mournful diatribes.
"God basically put Paul in the Bible to show us what not to do," said Osteen, his teeth radiating. "This Paul guy mopes around, calling himself wretched and a terrible sinner. What a downer! No wonder they be-headed the guy, he was probably making all the Romans depressed!"
Read the rest: https://babylonbee.com/news/joel-osteen-berates-apostle-paul-for-negative-self-talk-about-being-chief-of-sinners
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."