"We are besieging Mr. Lindell, but we had not accounted for the patented interlocking foam filling being so difficult to penetrate," said Special Agent Bob Janzen.
Read the rest: https://babylonbee.com/news/mike-lindell-still-holding-out-against-fbi-inside-mypillow-fort
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
A spokesman for the company said that due to rising prices, their previous offering of all-you-can-eat shrimp for was just not sustainable. "I'm not going to lie, we lost a ton of money by offering endless shrimp," he noted at a press conference Friday. "One guy stayed in our restaurant for 12 days last year and ate 47 pounds of shrimp. It's basically the entire reason we went bankrupt."
https://babylonbee.com/news/red-lobster-introduces-new-reasonable-amount-of-shrimp-promotion
"It is the ultimate hack," said Johnson to his pastor. "I literally have infinite prayers, infinite chances to bring petitions to the Creator of the Universe. It is like printing prayers. Maybe someone did it for the genie in the bottle or whatever already, but this is - dare I say it - infinitely more awesome and powerful."
https://babylonbee.com/news/prayer-hack-christian-asks-god-for-infinity-more-prayers
"One point two... billion dollars," repeated Ramsey slowly, attempting to wrap his mind around the story. "And you say you did this in just three months? Meaning, you spent half a million dollars every hour, even while sleeping, for three straight months? Oh... my... gracious. Where do I begin?"