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Methuselah Broke After 700 Years Of Writing $5 Birthday Checks To Grandkids

"What am I supposed to do?" Methuselah told bankers. "Not write checks to my grandchildren? It's one of the chief patriarchal responsibilities!"

Read the rest: https://babylonbee.com/news/methuselah-broke-after-writing-700-plus-years-of-5-birthday-checks-to-grandkids

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
8 hours ago

Study Confirms 9 Out Of 10 Serial Killers Were Made To Wear Matching Pajamas For Childhood Family Photos

The research team recounted harrowing tales told to them by imprisoned serial killers. "Some of the stories were really difficult to listen to," said research assistant Tianna Martin. "Dinosaur pajamas… matching puppy and kitten slippers… and the Christmas pajamas, dear God in Heaven, the Christmas pajamas. It's no wonder these poor souls grew up to become sadistic, bloodthirsty killers. They never had a chance to be anything else."

https://babylonbee.com/news/study-confirms-9-out-of-10-serial-killers-were-made-to-wear-matching-pajamas-for-childhood-family-photos

8 hours ago

Harris Complains She Was Not Informed The Interview Would Include Questions

"Holistically speaking, me and my team, we were holistically not informed that this interview would include questions," Harris said as several journalists from ABC gave her a back massage and worked on editing her next interview. "It's absolutely terrible. Even CNN at least gave us the questions holistically in advance. These chauvinist pigs at Fox are completely taking advantage of a very strong, competent, fragile woman of color. Holistically disgraceful!"

https://babylonbee.com/news/harris-complains-she-was-not-informed-the-interview-would-include-questions

9 hours ago

Healthiest Man Alive Just Does The Opposite Of Whatever The Government Recommends

"I do what I durn well please, sir," Max said, lounging back on his deck with a cold glass of raw milk, a cigar, and a 12-egg omelet. "T'ain't no government telling me what to do. They can't be trusted. I ignore those people like the Good Lord intended."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthiest-man-alive-just-does-the-opposite-of-whatever-the-government-recommends

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