"It is an honor to be selected to count the Arizona ballots," wrote Martin in a blog post that reportedly took 17 months to write and rewrite.
Read the rest: https://babylonbee.com/news/uh-oh-george-rr-martin-has-been-placed-in-charge-of-counting-arizona-ballots
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Exploding Restaurant Buzzer Takes Out Hezbollah Party Of 6
A Cheesecake Factory press release vehemently denied any allegations that the restaurant had anything to do with the incident. "We just do cheesecake," a spokesman said. "When we say ‘Our food is the bomb!' this isn't at all what we mean."https://babylonbee.com/news/exploding-restaurant-buzzer-takes-out-hezbollah-party-of-6
Sad: Hezbollah's Turnover Rate Officially Surpasses McDonald's
"We tried to give the folks at Hezbollah a call to thank them for their hard work, but they wouldn't pick up for some reason," Deese said as he signed a plaque reading "We're Not Number One Anymore." "It was touch and go here for a while — we've been losing 'em almost as fast as we can teach them to scoop fries. I wonder how Hezbollah manages to do it over there. I do hear their business is really booming of late."https://babylonbee.com/news/hezbollahs-turnover-rate-officially-surpasses-mcdonalds
Sad: Drag Queen Wants To Perform But There Aren't Any Kids Around
"What kind of drag queen am I? The whole point of this thing is to be as weird and gross in front of kids as possible. If a two-year-old isn't trying to grab at your boa and yank on your fishnets, why even perform? I'm a failure," McDiva lamented.https://babylonbee.com/news/sad-drag-queen-wants-to-perform-but-there-arent-any-kids-around
