AUSTIN, TX—Thousands of people who escaped the desolate wasteland of California have found new opportunities by moving to Texas. To help them feel right at home, even the weather is extending some Texas hospitality by knocking out power stations-- giving the former Californians a taste of the blackouts they're used to.
"Ah... just like old Gavin Newsom used to do back in Cali," said local resident Alice Muggins while lighting candles around the house. "I just wasn't used to having electrical power all the time and it felt really weird. Now, it feels a little more like home!"
According to sources, former Californians are helping people in their Texas communities who have never experienced something like this before. From how to prepare food without electricity to how to use an emergency generator, the Californian immigrants to Texas have been instrumental in keeping their communities alive in the midst of the outages.
California Governor Gavin Newsom attempted to gloat in a Facebook Live post, but his phone died and he was unable to charge it due to a power outage.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
