AUSTIN, TX—Thousands of people who escaped the desolate wasteland of California have found new opportunities by moving to Texas. To help them feel right at home, even the weather is extending some Texas hospitality by knocking out power stations-- giving the former Californians a taste of the blackouts they're used to.
"Ah... just like old Gavin Newsom used to do back in Cali," said local resident Alice Muggins while lighting candles around the house. "I just wasn't used to having electrical power all the time and it felt really weird. Now, it feels a little more like home!"
According to sources, former Californians are helping people in their Texas communities who have never experienced something like this before. From how to prepare food without electricity to how to use an emergency generator, the Californian immigrants to Texas have been instrumental in keeping their communities alive in the midst of the outages.
California Governor Gavin Newsom attempted to gloat in a Facebook Live post, but his phone died and he was unable to charge it due to a power outage.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
