BURBANK, CA—Gina Carano has been removed from her role as Cara Dune in the beloved Disney+ series The Mandalorian. Disney wasted no time in filling the role, with Lucasfilm execs quickly announcing that the part will now be played by comedienne Amy Schumer.
Schumer will don Cara Dune's armor and begin filming season 3 immediately.
"The last actress who played Cara Dune was toxic and problematic," said Kathleen Kennedy. "So we're now filling the role with a stunning and brave actress who stands for everything we do: goodness, truth, beauty, pronouns, love being love, and mercilessly destroying anyone who disagrees with us."
Many fans expressed concern that Schumer won't do a good job in the role, but Disney spokespeople were quick to remind their audience that anyone who cancels Disney+ over this is a Nazi and in danger of losing their job. "If you want to show you're not a fascist, you have to keep giving money to a megacorporation that hates you. If you don't do that, you're already on your way down the alt-right pipeline."
Sources claim in season 3, instead of punching bad guys, Amy Schumer will kill them by just doing her standup comedy.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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Quiz: Can You Guess Which Of These Things USAID Actually Funded And Which Ones We Made Up?
Quiz: Can You Guess Which Of These Things USAID Actually Funded And Which Ones We Made Up?
Democrats Assure Americans The Millions In USAID They Gave Hamas Was Just For Gay Stuff
"Yes, we know it looks bad giving millions of dollars to known terrorists with no accountability," said Senator Chris Van Hollen. "But we calculated that the risk involved in giving terrorists a bunch of cash was worth it if only it meant that one poor Palestinian kid might question their gender identity or sexuality someday."As much as I want to believe them, the gay stuff is pretty tame for these fellas.
Prince Harry Asks ICE To Deport Him To Guantanamo Bay For Some Peace And Quiet
"I have got to get myself to Gitmo, whatever it takes, old chap," said Harry, desperation in his eyes. "What if I jaywalk? Here I go... look, look, I am an immigrant breaking the law! Come get me, ICE! Do you need me to punch this old lady? I will do it, so help me."
