WORLD—Hitler has been vindicated of all his horrific wrongdoings after several historians discovered he simply borrowed most of his ideas from the celebrated scientist Charles Darwin.
"Wow-- we had no idea!" said Dr. Samuel Müller, a biology professor at Harvard. "As it turns out, Hitler was just following the scientific consensus around eugenics that was shared by every respected scientific institution at the time! He was just following the science! What a great guy!"
According to experts, the seeds of the eugenics movement were planted by Darwin himself in his book The Descent of Man. Darwin's own son Leonard Darwin, and his cousin Francis Galton went on to found the eugenics movement. The goal of the movement was "self-directed evolution," improving mankind by weeding out those deemed genetically "unfit." Experts say that Hitler latched on to this movement, which resulted in the murder of millions of innocent people.
"As it turns out," said Müller, "Hitler's mission of racial purity was just a logical result of Darwinian theory. And here we thought he was just a deranged homicidal maniac!"
Scientists have conceded, however, that Hitler's methods were problematic, as committing genocide against an entire people group is generally frowned upon these days. Planned Parenthood is said to be carrying on the eugenics mission but in a much tidier and "less problematic" way.
"Thank goodness," said Müller.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
