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Is Your Cat Actually Satan? 9 Things To Look For

If you’re like most people, you’re probably worried your cat is a spawn from hell. We consulted our Bibles and prayed really hard, and God revealed to us these hints that your cat is actually Satan himself. Here are the signs to look for:

Weird slit snake eyes -- Alone this isn't a huge deal, but coupled with the other signs, it could be bad. Keep reading.

Sharp hidden weapons in paws -- This is a telltale sign.

Always lands on feet as if by witchcraft -- You should be worried.

Vibrates with evil when touched -- Evil vibrations are a bad sign.

Has pointed ears like devil horns -- Should be obvious, but keep an eye out for this one.

Sudden outbursts of violence against small moving things -- Much as Satan seeks whom he may devour, cats pounce on laser dots and fingers.

Says “Mao” a lot in honor of murderous dictator Chairman Mao. -- Uh-oh...

Refuses to wear clothes -- Naked, just like all temptresses and Satan.

Brings you small dead creatures as a blood sacrifice -- Alright, now it's time to start freaking out.

If your cat shows these signs of being the devil himself, the CDC recommends you secure your cat in a burlap sack and throw it in the nearest bog.

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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