U.S.—Leftist protesters began to riot, mostly peacefully, over the start of Women's History Month, since the hateful tradition implies there is such a thing as men and women.
"Women's History Month is perpetuating the toxic idea that there is a biological category called 'women'!!!" screamed one woman at a riot in Portland. "It's time for this patriarchal holiday to come crashing to the ground, so we might forever end the class known as 'women.'"
"Down with women! Down with women!"
The protesters marched down the streets of U.S. cities, decrying the month as hateful and bigoted for its sexist, TERF-sympathetic implications. They threw bricks at anyone with obvious feminine features, assuming them to be perpetuating the idea that "women" exist, though they did accidentally bash in the skulls of some Antifa males.
In place of Women's History Month, the protesters are asking for a "Scream at the Sky Month," which will be like all the other months but only a little bit louder.
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"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."