Donald Trump spoke at CPAC in Florida this weekend and the whole world cheered as Trump gloriously appeared in the news cycle for a few short hours.
As always, the genius Trump gave a speech for the ages. In a speech with so many iconic moments, it's hard to pick one. Here are eight of the best moments from Trump's speech.
When Trump flew onto the stage with an invisible wire as pyrotechnics went off: The entire crowd was in awe, convinced they were watching a supernatural event.
When Trump pulled Jim Acosta up on stage and gave him a swirly: There was a scandal after Alyssa Milano found that Hyatt Hotels had supplied a special stage-toilet for the stunt.
When Trump stood up to cancel culture by chugging a can of GOYA beans: The crowd's chants of "USA! USA!" gave way to "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"
The epic reading 6 weeks' worth of Tweets Trump never got to send: He did this for the first 45 minutes of his speech.
Revealing he's been working out: Trump showed off a new toned body from 6 weeks of increased golf activity.
Trump's announcement that he has grown an army of Uruk-Hai warriors in spawning pits beneath Trump Tower: Get ready for a red wave!
Firing $2,000 checks into the audience with a cannon: Trump proved he's better than Sleepy Joe at keeping campaign promises with a GIANT MONEY CANNON!
When Trump invited weeping Biden voters to come forward and repent: Thousands of liberals were consumed with guilt after being deceived by Sleepy Joe. As the soft piano chords of a Lee Greenwood song played, many came forward to surrender their vote to Trump.
Unfortunately, enthusiasm was cut short after Biden won the CPAC staw-poll by 138,000 votes.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
