HELL—If Hell is known for one thing, it’s punishing fires of eternal damnation. It’s reportedly worse for men, though, because while they are tormented by searing heat unlike the mind can imagine, the women in hell keep trying to turn the thermostat up.
“Ahh! It burns!” yelled Lewis Wilkins, a denizen of Hell. “Such heat I can hardly fathom. What I would give for but a single drop of cool water!”
“I’m cold,” said Elizabeth Bradley, another inhabitant of hell. She then proceeded to turn the thermostat up.
“Aieee! I thought the torment couldn't get any worse, but now it’s somehow even hotter!” yelled Wilkins. “Why’d you do that?!”
“I’m still cold,” said Bradley.
“Then put on a sweater!”
Bradley ignored Wilkins and adjusted the thermostat again.
“Ahh! I thought it couldn’t get worse, but I was wrong!” shouted Wilkins. “Why don’t they keep that thermostat locked?”
Men have given thought to turning the thermostat down, but they’ve decided they’d rather deal with the heat than the whining.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
