HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA—The Braxton family has 27 mobile devices, ranging from tablets and smartphones to handheld gaming consoles and e-readers. All of them conveniently have the same charger port, which is nice, since despite each of the devices coming with its own charger, they still only have one.
Their count of chargers has remained the same no matter how many new devices packaged with a charger they buy. The family passes the charger around from room to room, getting involved in a daily passive-aggressive cold war over who gets to charge their smartphone or tablet. One family member will plug in their phone only to find that minutes later a crafty sibling has snuck into their room and absconded with the charger, hiding it in a secure location no one will ever find.
"Has anybody seen the charger!?" Mr. Gary Braxton yelled last night, frustrated as someone had moved it from his side of the bed again. "I specifically moved it right here and told nobody to touch it! AGGGGGGGGGH!!!"
His wife hid silently in the guest room next door, hoping he would not discover her as she was charging her phone.
Mr. Braxton finally caved and purchased a 24-pack of chargers on Amazon, but they all had disappeared at publishing time.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
