We want to believe the Bible is perfect, but there are a few plot holes in there that have always bugged us. Here are the nine most glaring plot holes:
Adam and Eve never exchange pronouns. Adam and Eve seem to get along fine, but the author forgot to include a scene where they exchange pronouns. How did they know how to refer to one another?
It's totally unrealistic that Noah would have let geese on the ark. And cats, for that matter.
Why didn't Mary and Joseph just ride the Eagles into Bethlehem? They go on this long journey when Gandalf could have just summoned the Eagles.
Why do the Israelites lead the Nazis right to the Ark of the Covenant? This has bugged us since our first readthrough.
Why was the Melchizedek plotline never wrapped up? Who's writing this, JJ Abrams? Such a red herring.
How did King Solomon survive so long having 1000 women, assuming all their periods were synced up? This just goes beyond the realm of credulity to lazy writing.
Jesus comes back from the dead like it's nothing -- a major deus ex machina. Just out of nowhere, He's back at the last minute to save the day, right when He's needed to help win the Battle of Helm's Deep.
Why is John a bitter old man living on an island milking aliens by the time he wrote Revelation? This really felt like too much subversion.
Why does God send His Son to save humanity when humanity is literally just the worst? The motive was never really clear here. Did the author expect us to believe God loved the world so much that He sent His Son to die for us? Come on!
What plot holes have you noticed in the Scriptures? Let us know in the comments! Unless you're poor, because then you're not a Bee subscriber.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UKRAINE—As Russian troops assemble at Ukraine's border ahead of a possible land invasion, President Biden has taken swift action by deploying an elite seal team to evacuate his son Hunter's money.
"At my direction, military operatives infiltrated a bank to evacuate my son's stash of sweet, sweet Burisma cash before Russia murdered everyone. I didn't want to risk that money falling into the wrong hands," said Biden in a statement to congress. "Unfortunately, we haven't been able to evacuate Americans from the country because I put all our resources on this operation. But make no mistake, we will leave no dollar behind."
The four-man squad was dropped into ally territory by a Black Hawk helicopter outfitted for stealth missions. Once on the ground, they covertly asked for directions to the nearest bank and shared an Uber to make the 4-mile journey.
Bank security footage depicts the squad calmly entering the bank and asking for the manager. The squad then assembled in a tiny cubicle to ...
KIEV, UKRAINE—As Russian troops increased their threat to Ukraine’s sovereignty and independence, the Ukrainian military showed their tactical prowess by asking Kyle Rittenhouse to come and guard their border with Russia.
“Yo, Kyle, hope all is well. Hey listen, our citizens are under threat from Putin and his d-bag army,” texted Ukrainian Minister of Defense, Sergei Ukrainovich to America’s national hero, Kyle Rittenhouse. “Could u do us a solid and come guard our border? Bring ur AR-15 lol thx.”
While some praised the move as militarily brilliant as well as based, citing the fact that no military has the capacity to withstand the freedom-spewing courage of Mr. Rittenhouse, U.S. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin criticized the move, citing Kyle Rittenhouse’s status as a cis-white male, and reminding everyone that guarding Ukraine would require him to CROSS STATE LINES.
“President Biden is weighing the deployment of troops to Ukraine,” said Secretary Austin, ...
ATLANTA—A member of CNN's Misinformation Squad was found hiding under a desk in the basement after making a frightful call to the police. "The misinformation is coming from inside the building," whispered the terrified employee to an alarmed 911 dispatcher.
The employee, intern Jessie Furbank, was reportedly in tears as police escorted her out of the building, after which she allegedly asked for witness protection.
"I need a new identity, a new life—they're going to find me!" said Jessie, according to witnesses.
A transcript has been released by the Atlanta Police Department that reveals the harrowing moment.
Dispatch: This is 911, what is your emergency?
Furbank: You have to [unintelligible] help! I'm–
Dispatch: Calm down, please. Are you in danger?
Furbank: Yes! I work at CNN. I [heavy breathing] I was hired to track misinformation, but—
[unknown banging noises]
Dispatch: Ma'am, are you alright?
Furbank: Did you just assume my gen– never mind, you have to come get me!
If you value The Babylon Bee and want to bypass the fact checkers who seek to have us deplatformed, please consider becoming a supporter so you can enjoy fake news you can trust.