AUSTIN, TX—As Texas removed its mask mandate this week, many progressives were shocked to learn that they could still wear masks. Having been led to believe that the end of the mask mandate would mean all masks everywhere would disappear like all those people in Infinity War, he was surprised to find that his mask hadn't yet been dusted from existence.
"It's so weird -- I can still wear 2, 3, or even 4 masks at once. Bizarre!" said Austin progressive activist Frank Miles as the sun rose and his mask was still firmly in place on his face, exactly as it had been all night. "I don't know what to think about this! Sometimes I just sit around and wait for a notification to pop up on my phone with the l latest government advisory on how many masks I should wear, if I should get the vaccine, and whether I should wear pants."
Progressives across the state, however, began to grow worried that they would now have to start to make their own decisions about their health. What's worse, they would have to take responsibility for their actions when it comes to where they go, whether or not they mask, and whether or not they social distance.
"If the government doesn't force me to wear a mask, how will I ever make my own decisions about what's best for me and my health? Oh no!" said one woman as she looked outside and saw children playing. "Children! Having fun! I'm staying inside today!"
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
