WASHINGTON, D.C.—Biden has been removed from the White House for evaluation by a team of physicians after biting one of the aides.
"We are so shocked," said Chief of Staff Ron Klain of the incident. "He has always been so docile and well behaved-- always limiting his interactions to sniffing and friendly licks. He's never bitten anyone like this."
Experts have suggested that the new environment and activity has been traumatizing to the President, and are suggesting adjusting his diet and perhaps a few weeks at obedience school to remedy the situation.
"Worst case scenario, we may have to put him down," said Dr. Kevin O’Connor, the White House physician. "Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but sometimes these things happen."
Vice President Kamala Harris has assured the American people that Biden will be sent to a nice farm upstate where he can run free.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
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