WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources close to local man Brandon Etherton, the man remarked about how glad he is that he lives in a real democracy and not one of those banana republics in Central America.
"I'm glad I live in a democratic republic and not one of those fake banana republics," he said happily as he walked by the wall semi-permanently surrounding the place where laws are made in his country. "It feels good to live in a country ruled for the people and by the people, and not one of those fake dictatorships that passes laws in secret. We always have access to our legislators, and that's one of the things that makes America great."
He then tried to go visit his representative and was tackled to the ground by the National Guard, who have been installed there indefinitely to prevent people from entering the Capitol Building.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
