Have you or a loved one had a baby recently? We hate to say this, but you may have just brought a white supremacist into the world.
Don't worry though-- we're here to help! It's important to always look for clues of racist tendencies in your newborn so you can nip that in the bud! Here are the troubling 7 signs:
He's white, which automatically makes him racist: If your newborn is white, then sorry-- its game over. Your baby will be irredeemably racist forever. Sad.
Completely illiterate, just like most Nazis: What? Your newborn can't read? Then he's probably been radicalized by alt-right personalities on YouTube.
No hair, which is a common Neo-Nazi hairstyle: Is your baby a skinhead? Having no hair is a colossal red flag. If your newborn is bald, make him wear a wig until his hair grows in.
Enjoys bedtime stories written by notorious racist Dr. Seuss: Books by Dr. Seuss are a gateway drug to literally burning crosses in people's front yards. Teach your child to burn those books instead.
Shows his white fragility by crying all the time: Crying is a sure sign of defensiveness and fear of honest conversations around race. Not good!
Refuses to say "black lives matter": Seriously-- what's so hard about saying "black lives matter"? If instead, he says things like "goo goo ga ga", this is even more troubling. The phrase "goo goo ga ga" has 10 letters in it. Do you know what else has 10 letters? "Heil Hitler."
Shows colorblindness by playing with other kids regardless of race: Color blindness is racist. Minorities need their own separate spaces without white invaders. Decolonize your playtime, Mom and Dad!
If you remain vigilant, you may play a part in preventing another baby from becoming racist! Unless he's white, of course.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."