Have you or a loved one had a baby recently? We hate to say this, but you may have just brought a white supremacist into the world.
Don't worry though-- we're here to help! It's important to always look for clues of racist tendencies in your newborn so you can nip that in the bud! Here are the troubling 7 signs:
He's white, which automatically makes him racist: If your newborn is white, then sorry-- its game over. Your baby will be irredeemably racist forever. Sad.
Completely illiterate, just like most Nazis: What? Your newborn can't read? Then he's probably been radicalized by alt-right personalities on YouTube.
No hair, which is a common Neo-Nazi hairstyle: Is your baby a skinhead? Having no hair is a colossal red flag. If your newborn is bald, make him wear a wig until his hair grows in.
Enjoys bedtime stories written by notorious racist Dr. Seuss: Books by Dr. Seuss are a gateway drug to literally burning crosses in people's front yards. Teach your child to burn those books instead.
Shows his white fragility by crying all the time: Crying is a sure sign of defensiveness and fear of honest conversations around race. Not good!
Refuses to say "black lives matter": Seriously-- what's so hard about saying "black lives matter"? If instead, he says things like "goo goo ga ga", this is even more troubling. The phrase "goo goo ga ga" has 10 letters in it. Do you know what else has 10 letters? "Heil Hitler."
Shows colorblindness by playing with other kids regardless of race: Color blindness is racist. Minorities need their own separate spaces without white invaders. Decolonize your playtime, Mom and Dad!
If you remain vigilant, you may play a part in preventing another baby from becoming racist! Unless he's white, of course.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
