PORTLAND, OR—Local progressive man William Mollison is currently obediently awaiting CDC instructions on whether or not it's OK for him to inhale and exhale.
The man is standing by, patiently awaiting the latest data on the CDC on if it's OK for him to take a breath. He has been vaccinated, but still double-masks and isolates from all civilization, pending the CDC instructions on that. He hasn't hugged his family in over a year, because, again, the CDC had come down against that dangerous activity.
"I trust the science, so I'm going to keep holding my breath until the CDC tells me otherwise," he said, his face turning blue. "You can't be too careful. We need to stay home, stay safe, mask up, and hold our breath until Dr. Fauci -- may he live forever -- gives us our next instructions."
"I... hope... they... give... us... instructions... soon!" he managed to get out.
Finally, Mollison passed out from holding his breath. He was immediately arrested and hauled away by CDC Breathing Enforcement soldiers for his crimes. But Mollison says he's glad to take the fall "for science."
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
