NEW YORK, NY—Yet another victim has come forward to accuse Governor Cuomo of inappropriately killing her grandma, sources confirmed Wednesday, with this latest allegation bringing the total number of accusers to 10,000. The woman made her allegations public today, saying Cuomo made inappropriate advances consisting of stuffing COVID-19-positive patients into the nursing home where her grandma lived, causing the woman to have unwanted contact with COVID-19 without her consent.
"These are serious allegations, and we are looking into them," said Governor Cuomo's spokesperson. "We must believe survivors. We must listen to their stories. We must make sure that predators cannot inappopriately kill their grandmas again."
The state attorney general says that Cuomo will not be allowed within 1,000 feet of a nursing home while the investigation is ongoing, and that he will not be allowed to be in a room with a grandmother unsupervised.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."