U.S.—According to sources, the party that screamed about the rise of fascism for the last four years has been cheering on the military for attacking a popular journalist.
"Yeah, get him! Take Tucker down!" shouted one pink-haired woman wearing a "Trump = Hitler" T-shirt for old times' sake. "I'm glad the military is criticizing a reporter. This is the only way we're going to be able to take down the fascists once and for all!"
CNN, the station that narrowly saved our country from sliding into fascism through its bold coverage of the Trump administration, also cheered excitedly as the powerful military commander slammed the Fox News anchor for his comments about pregnant women in the military.
"Only through getting the military to target our political opponents can we finally end fascism," said Brian Stelter as he replayed the Fox News footage on his own program. "I am glad this leader in the government's military has finally found the courage to attack the free press."
At publishing time, the military had dubbed Fox News the "enemy of the people," causing further praise from the left.
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"It's become such a wonderful tradition to ring in the beautiful autumn season by covering my home with fall decor," Carol said as she strategically placed dried leaves and withered straw around her living room.
"Fall is here! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" said a spokeswife for the American Wives Union in an official statement.
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