LOS ANGELES, CA—Audiences were shocked at the 63rd Grammy Awards after watching an "audacious", "daring", and "edgy" performance by a fully clothed woman who sang a beautiful song.
"I never knew a person could wear that much clothing at once," said one attendee of the event. "And her song featured melody, harmony, rhythm, and coherent lyrics. It was one of the most shocking things I've ever seen."
Thousands of conservative boomers celebrated the performance, however, as they had accidentally tuned in because they thought Blue Bloods was on.
"Now that's real music," said elderly viewer Frank T. Rutherford. "I didn't know the young 'uns knew how to make real music anymore."
CBS executives have apologized for the "inappropriately decent and appropriate" performance and have promised to add more stripping and profanity to next year's show.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."