U.S.—With stimulus payments hitting bank accounts, initial reports indicate most of the money has already been spent by people trying to fill up their cars with gas.
"It's gone... it's all gone..." said one shocked man as he stood at a gas pump, watching his tiny portion of The American Rescue Plan trickle away forever. "This isn't what I voted for."
According to economists, some of Biden's recent executive orders have driven up gas prices. That, combined with runaway inflation, is projected to increase the cost of filling up an average SUV by a billion-trillion percent.
Biden responded quickly to outcries from angry Americans, promising to pass yet another, even larger stimulus package next month. The next round of checks will provide $6,000 for every American and will cover the cost of one fill-up, plus a Slurpee and a lotto ticket.
The President said he plans to continue sending stimulus checks every month until people "stop whining" or the U.S. dollar collapses, whichever comes first.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
