WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amid concerns that the national debt may be spiraling out of control, Biden calmed fears in a statement that he has a plan to pay off the debt by capturing a leprechaun and stealing all his gold.
"Don't worry folks-- it's gonna be fine!" said Biden. "I saw a rainbow this morning when my sprinklers went off. You know what's at the end of a rainbow, don't you? I'm gonna get me some of that leprechaun gold and pay off the debt-- just like that!"
Economist Paul Krugman praised the idea as "sound" even though it's never been proven to work before. "Computer models indicate that Biden's the best and this is a good idea," he said.
According to sources, Biden will be mobilizing the National Guard-- which has been sitting around D.C. with nothing to do since Biden's inauguration-- to hunt down a leprechaun and bring its plunder back to the treasury.
"We're just happy to have something to keep us occupied," they said.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
