WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amid concerns that the national debt may be spiraling out of control, Biden calmed fears in a statement that he has a plan to pay off the debt by capturing a leprechaun and stealing all his gold.
"Don't worry folks-- it's gonna be fine!" said Biden. "I saw a rainbow this morning when my sprinklers went off. You know what's at the end of a rainbow, don't you? I'm gonna get me some of that leprechaun gold and pay off the debt-- just like that!"
Economist Paul Krugman praised the idea as "sound" even though it's never been proven to work before. "Computer models indicate that Biden's the best and this is a good idea," he said.
According to sources, Biden will be mobilizing the National Guard-- which has been sitting around D.C. with nothing to do since Biden's inauguration-- to hunt down a leprechaun and bring its plunder back to the treasury.
"We're just happy to have something to keep us occupied," they said.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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