WORLD—According to sources, Cain has killed his brother Abel to become the first murderer. In his defense, he claims white supremacy is actually to blame.
"You can't really hold me responsible for this, God," Cain said to The Almighty. "I was brought up under an oppressive system of white supremacy that was designed to protect its own power by generating hostility between me and my brother Abel."
According to Cain, crimes like this could have been prevented if more people were aware of the need to dismantle the structures of oppression that are really to blame for the murder.
The cold-blooded killer then invited God to check his privilege and be a part of the solution to the violence, rather than perpetuating the oppressive system by simply holding Cain responsible.
God responded to Cain's defense by banishing him.
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