MOSCOW—Vladimir Putin has challenged Joe Biden to a contest of wits, strength, and cunning: a stair-ascending contest. The winner of the contest will gain control of the other country.
"Stair-ascending contest, me and you, right now, let's go," said Putin as he met with the American president. "He who wins become supreme glorious leader forever of other puny weak man." Biden agreed to the contest, though it wasn't clear he knew who this man was or where they were.
"3... 2... 1... climb!" shouted the referee before firing off a pistol. Biden got off to a rocky start as he was startled by the gunshot and scurried off in the wrong direction. Putin, meanwhile, just walked up the stairs. Biden started gaining on him as his handlers corralled him and pointed him in the right direction, but he kept falling over and tumbling down the stairs.
It all looked good for Russia until Putin had to stop a few times to sign execution papers for journalists who criticized him, squandering his lead.
Finally, Biden jumped in a stair lift and started to close the gap, but it was too little, too late, and Putin emerged at the top of the 30-step staircase victorious.
Well, thanks to Biden losing the stair contest, we are now part of Russia. We also just want to say that Vladimir Putin is one fine fellow and a fantastic man, and he deserved to win and we welcome him as our new leader for life.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Where can I see the recent Seth Dillon talk about Twitter/X and the censorship campaign against Babylon Bee. I watched it, lived it, tried to share it on Facebook, but it disappeared.
Your Giggles for Today
A guy calls 911 in a panic. “My wife is having a baby! Her contractions are only one minute apart!” “Calm down,” the 911 operator says. “Is this her first child?” “No, you idiot!” the guy shouts. “This is her husband!”
A little girl asks her mother, “How did the human race appear?” The mother answers, “Well, God made Adam and Eve and then they had kids. So all mankind was made.” Two days later the little girl asks her father the exact same question. The father answers, “Many years ago, there were monkeys from which the entire human race evolved.” The confused little girl returns to her mother and says, “Mom, you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said man developed from monkeys. Why do you have different stories?” The mother answers, “Well, I was referring to my side of the family and your dad was talking about his side.” (Lol! A oldie that needed repeating).
“When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me . ....
