U.S.—A Trump spokesman has recently announced that Trump will soon be returning to social media with his own platform. This new "trumped-up" social media site is expected to completely change the game and will feature an all-new look and experience for users.
“We are removing the lame verification badges and replacing them with ‘People Who Aren’t Losers And Total Disasters’ badges,” Trump announced during a recent press release. “Before, anybody could get one, total losers got verified on Twitter, but not anymore. Now only the very best people will receive badges on my platform.”
“Frankly, this site is tremendous, maybe best website ever made, we'll see. Now Americans can delete their Twitter, Facebook, and any other social media account, because this is the only one you will ever need,” Trump continued. “Now all of the smart, beautiful users can post and see only the very best information and not worry about big tech censorship.”
Trump has made it clear that news sites such as CNN and the failing New York Times will receive ‘Totally Dishonest’ badges should they decide to make an account. He explained that they would still be fact-checked even though there's no need to bother because "we all know they will be rated completely fake and untrue no matter what they say."
“It’s going to be an unbelievable experience for all of the supporters of everybody’s favorite president,” said Trump. "Never again will you be without my every thought."
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
