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Unclear How Bad Mass Shooting Is Until Authorities Release Details Of Everyone's Skin Color

U.S.—According to media reports, there has been a mass shooting. As of now, it is unclear how bad the mass shooting is, or whether anyone should care about it-- since authorities have not yet released the skin colors of the perpetrator and the victims.

"It's possible this could be a horrific mass shooting we will talk about for years to come," said one news anchor. "On the other hand, it may just be a run-of-the-mill mass shooting that we'll forget by tomorrow since it doesn't fit the narrative we are trying to sell right now. For the time being, please be sure to assume this shooting confirms all your most horrific biases about the state of our country. Stay tuned for more details-- unless we decide you don't really need to hear more details."

Already, social media is buzzing with speculation and anger, confirming everything everyone already knew about how horrible the groups of people who they think are so horrible really are.

"Not surprised," said one American. "This is America-- the country where the exact people I hate are as horrible as I thought they were."

The media has assured they will probably just hold off on reporting further details until the preferred narrative has had time to run its course.

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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