WASHINGTON, D.C.—White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki has revealed her secret to how she so masterfully handles every White House press briefing. Her key to success comes from early morning sessions of playing dodgeball.
“Every morning I wake up at 5am to play a rigorous 3-hour game of dodgeball to warm up for press briefings,” explained Jen Psaki. “It’s a cutthroat world out there when I’m not being tossed softball questions, and I have to find new ways to dodge them. I have to be prepared for anything!”
“It’s like my dear mentor and coach Patches O'Houlihan always says: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge straightforward, easy to answer questions about the President’s administration.”
“Again!” said her coach, launching dodgeballs labeled ‘Border Crisis’, ‘Is Biden Alive?’, and ‘Unchecked National Debt’ directly at her. “You have to be ready for this! Now faster next time.”
Jen Psaki proceeded to duck, dive and dodge like a true champion. “I’ll circle back on that!” she shouted masterfully spinning out of the way when asked why gas prices are skyrocketing.
At publishing time, Jen Psaki expressed her hope to keep her "Days since answering a question in a meaningful, informative way" record going for at least the next 4 years.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
