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Planned Parenthood Launches 'Born Lives Matter' Campaign

U.S.—Citing confusion around their past support for Black Lives Matter, Planned Parenthood has launched a new campaign, "Born Lives Matter," to make sure people understand black lives only matter after they've been born.

"There was some initial confusion since our organization is responsible for ending the lives of millions of black children-- er, I mean fetuses," said CEO Iris E. Harvey. "It's important we clarify to the public that we didn't end any lives that actually mattered since only BORN black lives matter."

According to sources, abortion is the leading cause of death among black Americans. According to Planned Parenthood, however, it's not a cause of death at all among black Americans who matter.

"ONLY-- BORN-- BLACK-- LIVES-- MATTER," said Harvey, clapping between every word.

"Planned Parenthood hopes this new campaign will lessen some of the confusion," Harvey continued, "and allow us to continue our glorious mission of population control and eugen-- er, I mean, caring for women."

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

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February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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