NEW YORK, NY—The New York Times has attacked The Babylon Bee, apparently jealous of the satire site's superior rate of accuracy when it comes to its stories.
"Hey, everyone, Carl Manning, he/him. Look -- we can't have a far-right satire site be more accurate than we are," said one editor in a staff meeting last week. "Whaddaya got? How can we smear them? Is there any way we can tie their site to white supremacy?"
"Yeah, it's a real problem. Oh, uh, Jim Wentley, they/them. Those Babylon Bee guys are way more accurate than we are -- let's take them down," said another editor, chewing on his pencil. "Why don't we just call them a far-right misinformation site? That'll take care of them."
"Great idea!" The editors all high-fived from six feet away and then did jazz hands.
The staff meeting was called, and the editors began looking for a way to stuff a smear about The Babylon Bee into an ostensibly related article to begin spreading the rumor that The Bee is actually a Nazi-adjacent site heckbent on fooling grandmas and confused boomers into sharing their articles on Facebook.
Unfortunately, The Times' accuracy rate is so low, no one believed their claim about The Babylon Bee. Sad!
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
